Friday, June 23, 2006

Missing Sunshine


She came into our lives unexpectedly – one day showing up at the door along with three other cats. Naturally, we fed them all, and kept feeding them until they became ‘ours.’ Sunny was ‘ours’ (as much as cats can be anyone’s) for over six years. She came to us as an adult, already trained to be outdoors, but behaving so well indoors, never even using the litter box we kept ‘just in case.’ She was affectionate, obedient, kind. Knew her name, came when called, went for walks with us – behaved in so many ways, like a puppy. She was my ‘baby’ when all my human babies were grown with babes of their own. I saw her for the last time last weekend. She spent a restless night on my bed last Friday – cuddling and cuddling, and keeping me awake. Little did I know it would be the last time. I gave her a bowlful of her beloved wet food Monday before I left for the week. I didn’t know it would be the last time I’d see her.

My husband called me Wednesday to say he hadn’t seen Sunny. She didn’t come for dinner, nor come for breakfast.

I got home Thursday night, and she was not there to greet me. She didn’t come when I called. She wasn’t anywhere on the property or at the neighbors. Now, three days later, in heat exceeding 95F with matching humidity, I fear the worst. I wake to find that:

* there’s no scratching at the screen to come indoors

* there’s no wee pleading face at the door looking for wet food
* there’s no kitty taking a walk with us
* there’s no kitty snuggling with me, sleeping on my chest, snuggling against my back
* there’s no kitty ‘meowing’ to go outdoors or asking for her dinner
* there’s no kitty being so patient as the grands ‘do nice kitty’ pettings
* there’s no ‘sunshine’ coming when her name is called
* there’s no kitty ‘sitting’ when told
* there’s no kitty watching all the birds.

There’s only bits of shed fur on the floors, an empty food bowl, and a big hole in my heart.

Wherever she’s gone, IF she is gone forever, I hope her passing was peaceful… but I wish I could have been there, holding her against me, one last time.

I miss you, Sunshine.

14 comments:

Teri C said...

My heart goes out to you Lin and my tears are mingling with yours.

Hugs.

Shelly McC said...

I hope she comes home. I miss her too now! Big hug to you.

Karen said...

I'm so sorry Lin, I hope she comes home, too.

Debby said...

Sending you hugs and sharing tears with you. Our pets are like our kids and I know this is hard!

Lorraine said...

Oh my you warned me but I cam crying like a baby reading your sad but wonderful story.
I've only had one that went off to die when he was sick and it truly is harder that way.
Sunny was such a sweetheart, sleeping with me when I visited you, and making me feel completely at home and not missing my own cats while she was cuddling with me.

It is one the the saddest facts of life that we generally outlive our non-human companions. She was so special as are you.
Hugs and Love,
Lorraine

Ger O'Rourke said...

Hello Lin, I'm so sorry to read about Sunshine. We have a 12 year old tom so I know how attached you can become. Love and hugs, Ger

Linda said...

:-( Lin, I'm sorry to hear about Sunny! Maybe she's like Mehitabel and is just out on a long date ... and maybe she just curled up somewhere and went to sleep for the long one. At any rate, she had a wonderful life with you, I'll bet, and that is the best any of us can do!

Brenda said...

Oh, Lin! I am so very sorry. That was a three kleenexer and now it is a four as I try to comment. Losing pets is one BIG heartache for those of us who love them so. I hope you feel a little of the "sharing the grief" from everyone!!
Brenda

Bonny said...

Oh Lin; I'm so sorry you feel sad about Sunshine. She was a special little furry friend who enjoyed your love and care, and she gave you her companionship and devotion. Keep those happy memories alive in your heart...and dare I say it? In your sketchbook, too. Try and draw her from memory..now...while her likeness is still fresh from a few days ago. Then write your happy memories and keep them always.
Gentle hugs to you...and a little prayer for Sunshine.

Tami said...

Oh lin, I am so sorry you, I do so hope she comes home. My animals are such a BIG part of my life! You have such a big heart, I hate to hear it in so much pain! Love and hugs to you!!!

melissa w said...

What a wonderful companion. I hope you find comfort in her memory. The sight of that empty bowl tugs at the heartstrings. I'm so sorry.

starrgirl's world said...

this is a sweet post and I hope that she will come home again. I'm sure she knew how much you loved her.

Kate said...

Lin, I am SO sorry about Sunshine...sitting here with tears in my eyes...

I know how hard it is when they just disappear...it's fairly typical for cats, I think, when it's their time, particularly one that's been an outdoor cat, but it's so hard, not knowing...

Kate

Felicity said...

Lin, I'm so sorry to hear you lost Sunshine. When I lost Ginger, all I had was the bowl I last fed her with but it was very significant to me.

The empty hole they leave behind is so hard to bear. I'm sure she knew how much she was loved! Lots of cyber hugs to you.